Point A

Hello people, with a little encouragement from someone I just got to know, I finally decided to make a blog. Sorry if my blog may not be that organized with this being my first time. In time hopefully I will improve and be able to articulate my thoughts in a more precise manner. Without further ado, here are some facts, so you can get to know a little more about who I am and where I come from.

First, I am a male 21 years old. I am the youngest of five children, and the only one with “Ginger” red hair. My parents are married. My family has very close knit connections with each other. Sometimes, I think we might be too close. I know when push comes to shove they have got my back, and I need to have theirs. They have always picked on me for my red hair since I was young, using the typical FedEx, Milkman, and ginger comments. To say that these comments annoyed me would be a understatement, but I always had a hard exterior to just brush them off like they never bothered me. If they ever did, I could console in the greatest mother I could have ever asked for. As I am typing this right now, she is feeding my first nephew dinner, while making my dinner for just my Dad and I. She amazes me every single day with the way she lives life for a greater cause then herself. She puts up with all of the shit that comes with taking care of five children. My Dad goes to work everyday even though I know he hates it. Without them I know I wouldn’t even exist, so I will be forever grateful.

Back to the topic of me LoL. Like I said I would jump around a lot because that’s what tends to happen to my thoughts over the past few years. Probably why I can’t keep anything straight and why I have made this world a little more complicated than necessary. DatflyGingerCEO23. Why did I pick that name? Well first it was going to be DatGingerBoss23 based off of the fact that I had a guy a Starbucks call me Boss when he asked to use the plugin port to charge his laptop that was underneath where I sat that evening. Crazy how a single word or phrase could put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. So, I looked up synonyms for boss and came across CEO. Chief Executive Officer’s main responsibilities according to investopedia include developing and implementing strategies, making major decisions, and managing overall operations and resources of a company. They are the head honcho and in a sense have a pretty direct influence on the direction of a company.I have recently struggled to direct my own life. I stopped acting like the CEO of myself letting other things take over my drivers seat. I have a destroyed image of myself. I have let fear take over and in turn I have turned my back on the world. I brainwashed myself into believing  that my actions wouldn’t have negative consequences. As a result, i struggled to do well in college, closed myself off to everyone, and most importantly convinced myself that there wasn’t a problem when one definitely existed. I started looking for anything that would give me an instant gratification/high whether it be alcohol, partying, video games, and other things.

I am re-teaching to apply myself in a positive manner. I need to focus on myself and rebranding my self image, self esteem, confidence, and ability to believe in myself. I know I have to make changes and part of this blog I am sure is to help me organize my thoughts and creating a plan that I can put into action. Still not sure what my blog will serve in the end, but I know that I needed to start somewhere. Before I get to point B, I have got to start and have a good understanding of point A(no I am not Canadian). My hopes would definitely consist of not feeling alone because I am sure that there are other people out there with ten times the amount of problems that I have. Also, we can all learn from each other and that we don’t have to make life harder than it needs to be. I do not want to jump from point A to point B because I am going enjoy this journey. There will be no greater gratification when I have successfully turned the corner and made a better life for myself. Hopefully all this writing can reteach me things about myself that I took for granted, and to see the flaws that I have encountered in my life.

With that being said, my Dad happened to flip to the movie Coach Carter while I was in the middle of writing this blog. He couldn’t have turned it on at a better time. Society has a funny way of oppressing every kind of person no matter their race, gender, ethnicity, or age. It is the strong minded though that just brush that off, and don’t let the little thing phase them. We all have that ability in us. We just have to find a way to overcome our fear and to let it shine. That is why I like this quote so much. I think it brings up a lot of good points and it makes me start believing in things again. That is where it all starts, A belief.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s