Breaking Point

Valentine’s Day February 14, 2014. I had just got back together with my girlfriend two weeks prior. Things seemed to be going well and seemed like I was on a new course. Then Valentine’s day came around. My girlfriend had to work on Valentine’s Day, she is a workaholic. We had planned on celebrating it on Saturday. Friday rolls around after a long night of drinking with my roommates up at East lansing Thursday. I wake up to the two of them playing Super Mario N64. Decided to go back to bed because I was still hung over. Wake back up six hours later around 6PM with the two of them still playing the same game. Figuring I wouldn’t ever get to use the TV or be productive I sat in my room contemplating whether or not to drive home to see my girl at work. I always went to visit her at work the first time we were dating and she always seemed to like it. Every time before I would walk into her store, my heart would start racing about four times faster than normal. I always knew though that getting to see her and getting to talk to her would get me to calm down. Her voice always had a funny way of putting me at ease and putting my fears on the back burner. After an hour or so I decided to go surprise her at work. Not before going on the internet and looking up Valentine’s Day on the internet and what to get Girls for Valentine’s day. This was only my second time being with someone on Valentine’s day and I only took her to dinner last year on a different day because I was up at school. This time I wanted to get something big. Something awesome, something that made her know how much I loved having her in my life. I Saw the whole bears, candy, flowers, and thought it was a little cliche. Our relationship wasn’t cliche at all so, I didn’t think it deserved a cliche gift. As I drove home, I continued to think of ideas of what I could possibly get her that would make her face drop when she saw the gift. The closer I came to her work the more nervous I got because I couldn’t think of anything. So, I got off an exit early to stop at Meijers and not go to Kroger where I could have just picked up flowers and called it a day. Little did I know it would be the worst mistake I ever made. As I got into Meijer, I saw one flowers roses, little bears, one flower in a pot that looked cheaply made. I thought none of that was good enough to give to my girlfriend. I wanted something bigger, better, more of the WOW factor. Time was not on my side though, I only had 40 minutes until her work would close. With my hangover still lingering, the thirst for water took over and I ended up buying a Disani water bottle. Somehow I had convinced myself to not get her anything and that she would be ok with it. I rationalized in mind that it would be okay. My rational had become irrational.

Just like a little quote I heard not to long ago. “The greatest Trick the Devil ever pulled, was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.”- from the Usual Suspect.

From that point on I had fallen apart. I tried to cover my tracks by telling her I was getting her something tomorrow and that she was expecting something so it didn’t make it special. I took out account of her feeling and was too selfish. After that we texted and I got jealous of the guys that came into her work at around the same time I did. I had never gotten jealous before and she told me she didn’t want to see me that day. I think she knew that I was falling apart. I drove home to bring her flowers to try and make up for it, but the damage had already been done. She didn’t want to see me and did everything in her power to block all communication so that I couldn’t contact her. I eventually ended up crying on the phone pleading like a dumbass. She called me and dumped my sorry ass, rightfully so. She told me that she wasn’t going to be dating anyone else. She needed to take a couple steps back. It was still the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I deserved it all and my actions after the break up have only pushed her farther away from me. We were still facebook friends, then she defriended me after I went to her work a month after we broke up to bring her Orchids (lesson learned don’t bring a girl who is still pissed at you). She is usually the lady who greets people when they walk into the store (yeah I still think she’s as beautiful as the sun). I didn’t even get my second foot in the entrance to the store she works at. When she saw me she just shook her with disapproval and Ran away from me into the back room. I knew she was going to cry, and there was no way of comforting her. It was like a dagger through the heart. I had never actually made someone runaway from me before. I will never forget that day. Should I have chased after her, maybe, maybe not, but I knew that I was in no right mind set to explain myself of be able to make sense of this crazy situation that I got myself into. I was officially broken.

 

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